Funny Quotes:
If you choke a smurf… what color does it turn?

Smile… it scares people

SMILE, it only takes 13 muscles, a frown takes 64...

If it weren’t for the last minute, nothing would get done

I have all the answers, but I never said they were right

Do you come with instruction manual because you’re confusing me?

People like you are the reason people like me need medication

Don’t upset me… I’m running out of places to hide the bodies

Huked on fonics werked fer me, kant u tell??

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

On the other hand, you have different fingers

It’s funny how the one you love’s smile can make an entire day

How can you say the world is a funny place, when you are probably just living in your town

I haven’t failed. I have just found 10,000 ways that don’t work

Never do anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to the paramedics

One thousand Americans stop smoking everyday -- by dying

A laugh is a smile that bursts

If you can read this you are too close

I have all the answers but I never said they were right

Christian Quotes:
Sitting in a garage doesn’t make you a car anymore than going to church makes you a Christian

Who will I live for today… God or myself?

Christian homes don’t just happen -- they’re built

The reason we don’t talk to our friends about God is because we don’t talk to God about our friends

If you really love Jesus, then you wouldn’t be flirting with the Devil

D-O-G spelled backwards is still man’s best friend

The most powerful weapon in earth is the human soul on fire for God

I want the voice of the Lord to be the 1^st voice I hear in the morning and his is the last voice I want to hear at night

This is a ch__ch. What is missing? -- (UR)

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools

God answers knee mail

May is God’s apology for February

Wal-Mart isn’t the only saving place

The best vitamin for a Christian is B1

Fear is the dark room where Satan develops negatives

God made all creatures beautiful

The next time you think you’re perfect, try walking on water

A coincidence is when God performs a miracle, and decides to stay anonymous

A family altar can alter a family

We’re too blessed to be depressed

We don’t change the message; the message changes us

Give Satan an inch and he’ll be a ruler… So don’t give him anything

Having truth decay? Brush up on you Bible!

Favorite Quotes:
Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world

The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right next to them, and knowing that you can’t have them

I not only like being loved, but to be told that I am loved

Family Quotes:
Having a sister is like having a best friend you can’t get rid of. You know whatever you do, they’ll be there

Sisters are probably the most competitive relationship within the family, but once sisters are grown, they become the strongest relationship

Friendship Quotes:
Piglet sidled up behind Pooh. "Pooh," he whispered. "Yes, Piglet?" "Nothing," said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw. "I just wanted to be sure of you."
- Winnie-the-Pooh

The nicest friend we have by far is the one who likes us as we are

A friend is someone who knows how strange you are and still hangs out with you

My friend, my companion, through good times and bad, my friend, my buddy, through happy times and sad. Beside me you stand, beside me you walk, you’re there to listen, you’re there to talk, with happiness, with smiles, with pain and tears, I know you’ll be there throughout the years

It’s quality not quantity in friendships

There are no strangers, only friends we have yet to meet

Friends are always friends no matter how far you have to travel back in time. If you have memories together, there is always a piece of your friendship inside your heart.

A hug is worth a thousand words. A friend is worth more.

The friendships we have today will not be forgotten tomorrow because time never erases love

Friends are rare people who ask how you are and then wait to hear the answer

If all my friends were to jump off a bridge, I wouldn’t jump with them, I’d be at the bottom to catch them

Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you still can

A best friend is a sister that destiny forgot to give you

A friend is someone who smiles when you smile, laughs when you laugh, and holds your hand when you cry

Never betray your friends for love, because love can last a while, but friends can last a lifetime

Friends always try to pick us up when we are down and when they can’t, they lay down beside us

Last night I wanted to write you a letter, but all I seemed to write was…. “in ss!w” didn’t make much sense until I turned it upside down

Friends don’t let friends eat chocolate alone

A best friend is someone who you can sit one the porch with for hours not saying a word, but leaving thinking that it was the best conversation you ever had

Each friend represents a world in us; a world not possibly born until they arrive, and it is only in meeting them that a new world is born

A friend will be there for you when things are good… but a TRUE friend will be there for you when things are good, and also when things are very bad… and just when it feels like you can’t smile anymore… she can put a smile on your face with a simple hug

I know you’re my friend when you say you’d take the pain so I wouldn’t have to bear it alone, but I wouldn’t let you. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel what I’ve felt… you mean that much to me

I would rather be disliked for who I am then liked for who I am not

As a part of you has grown in me, together forever shall we be, never apart, maybe in distance but not in heart

When you are sad, I will dry your tear. When you are scared, I will comfort your fears. When you are worried I will give you hope. When you are confused, I will help you cope. When you are lost, and can’t see the light… I shall be your beacon, shining ever so bright. This is my oath, I pledge till the end. Why do you ask? Because you are my best friend

It’s funny how you can grow away from your friends, when just a few years ago they were the most important people in your life

Love Quotes:
Who do you turn to when the only person who can make you stop crying, is the one who made you cry…?

Some people make the world special just by being in it

Forget the times you walked by, forget the times you made me cry, forget the time you held my hand, forget the sweet things if I can no longer pretend got to remember now your just my friend

I wish you were here with me. I wish I was there with you, but most of all I wish I didn’t have to wish for you

If I had the letters “HRT” and I could add “EA” and get “HEART” or add “U” and get “HURT”, I’d rather have “U” and get “HURT” than have a “HEART” without “U”.

When I saw you, I was afraid to meet you. When I met you, I was afraid to hug you. When I hugged you, I was afraid to love you. Now I love you and I am afraid to loose you

A million words wouldn’t bring you back, I now because I have tried. A million tears couldn’t bring you back, I know because I’ve cried

Missing you isn’t the hard part. Knowing I once had you is what breaks my heart.

You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lost it; you can never get it back

Somewhere there is someone who dreams of your smile, and finds your presence that life

The only guy a girl can trust is her DADDY… guys you have BIG shoes to fill because my DADDY will sure be hard to beat

If I could pick one moment and keep it, it would be the moment I met you

Sometimes the person you really need is the one you didn’t think you wanted

I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh; so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me, I promise you I’ll smile

If you could only see the love in my eyes, all those nights I laid and cried, not being with you, I’m falling apart because I don’t know how to get into your heart

If I could give you one gift in the world, it would be the ability to see yourself as I see you; so you can see how special you really are

I dropped a tear in the ocean- when I find it is the day I’ll stop loving you

You know its love when the tiny details about another person, ones that are insignificant to most people, seem fascinating and incredible to you

Love covers all sins - the Bible

All I want is for you to know me again, for me to be in your life. And, even if it can’t happen right now, I would just like to know that you heard my plea. I would just like to know that I am not blocked from your memory

You have to put up with the rain to catch the rainbow

I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi to me, or even smile, because I know even if just for a second I crossed your mind

8 Letters - 3 Words - 1 Meaning - I Love You

If I could rearrange the alphabet I’d put U and I together

There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real

Alone? I’m beside you. Afraid? I’ll comfort you. Need a hug? My arms are yours. Hurt? You can cry on my shoulder, I don’t promise to solve your problems, but at least I’ll cry with you. Why? Simply because I care and I love you!!!

I know my mother would just love you

Other Interesting Quotes:
It’s not the size of the dog. It’s the size of the fight in the dog

Keep the pictures, they never change. Only the people in them do

Its kind of hard to answer the question “What’s wrong?” when nothing is right

Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we

Baby, have you had your Campbell’s soup today? Because, you’re Mmm Mmm Good!

Hug Department: Open Always

Not all scars heal, not all wounds heal, and sometimes you can’t always see the pain someone feels

Worry doesn’t help tomorrow’s troubles, but it does ruin today’s happiness

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter won’t mind and those who mind won’t matter

Never say you’re sorry for telling how you feel… because that’s like saying you’re sorry for being real

If confusion is the first step to knowledge I must be a genius

Even if you don’t love me and even if you don’t care you can still count on me to ALWAYS be there

Be more concerned about your character than your reputation because your character is who you are and your reputation is what others think of you

Things learned from Children
LEGOS will pass through a digestive system of a 4 year old

Super glue is forever

Pool filters do not like Jello

VCR’s do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do

Writers Quotes:
God is the perfect poet

Every writer I know has trouble writing

A writer is somebody for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted

Goodbye Quotes:
I know we'll be friends for life, sharing our dreams together. As we walk down the road, we'll never think twice, our memories will last forever. And although we're off to different worlds, somehow we're together. And even though we're far apart, our memories are deep within our hearts. These are the times to remember, our memories will last, forever more